Jay's Sobriety Story - 54 YO

Jay's Sobriety Story - 54 YO

When was your first encounter with alcohol / substances and what did you try first?
My first serious experience with alcohol was at about age 12. From there I started dabbling into amphetamines(speed) at about age 14. Later in life I found the combination of both was the escape I was yearning to deal with mental health issues but sadly the come down effect was far more detrimental to my well-being, so I craved for weekends to arrive to get back on that high. 

How old were you when you realised you had problem with drinking / substances and how did you know it was a problem? 
From my late teens I realised alcohol was an issue that led me to do things I would definitely not entertain in a sober state. Often involved incidents of violence and crime but getting back on it so to speak removed any care for my indiscretions and the cycle kept repeating. I knew I was doing wrong but my addiction for alcohol fuelled with drugs clouded my judgement and rational thought process.  

What was your turning point for you make changes in your life?
My turning point came later in life around age 50. I had an alcohol related incident involving family and decided this has to stop. I remained sober for 8 months then was invited to a family reunion which I hesitantly decided to go. I tried to put a plan in place to not drink at the occasion but succumbed to the false high and escape that alcohol had given me in the past. The night resulted in me crashing my motor vehicle, a high range drink driving charge, yet another court case. This was my turning point that said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I can now proudly say that was 2.5 years ago and I have been sober since. 

How do you feel life would be different if you had not had issues with alcohol / substances?
Life without alcohol would have had such a different outcome on my life. Not only did it exasperate my mental health, but it cost me my relationship of 33 years with a special woman who we have 3 wonderful kids together. I have not seen them in 7 years, so the impact of my alcohol/substance abuse is ongoing. The impact on my family and the impact on the community through sheer careless behaviour when under the influence had been substantial. My sporting career and work/business all foundered when alcohol took control. I lost everything! 

What do you do to continue to stay sober?
Staying sober from substance abuse has been smooth so far but I've had to set serious boundaries on myself with the support of family and fellow recovering addicts. I don't go to venues where alcohol is available. I don't associate with people in addiction and have had to cut off family and close friends who abuse substances. I use social media to study fellow recovering addicts and their coping structures and methods in sobriety and have found that most rewarding. 

What has been the hardest thing about giving up?
Hardest thing about giving up is when my mental health(bipolar) fluctuates I have to face it head on without the escape of substances. It's a reality check but has also taught me better coping mechanisms and I have become quite resilient to temptation so I try to dwell on the positive effects of what sobriety has given me. 

What is the biggest difference you have noticed since giving up?
Biggest difference in sobriety i have found is self-love. It allowed me to think clear, make rational decisions but most importantly allowed me to find myself. The self abuse has stopped, my outlook on life is amazing, my love for my family and supporters is undeniable . My mental health is in check.It's like seeing for the first time after literally 40 years of addiction and self abuse. I'm truly blessed. 

What is one piece of advice you would give to someone that is trying to give up?
Anyone wanting to give up an addiction just stay real. There are going to be ups and downs and possible relapses but don't beat yourself up. Reach out to other addicts in recovery and help each other, sharing stories and support each other's journey. It's never too late to say enough is enough and start your journey of sobriety.  Best wishes all 🙏

Jay (54)
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